I am standing in my own way. I know this. Knowing is supposed to be half the battle, right? Then why don’t I just get out of my own way already?
Truth is, I started this post yesterday, but even it didn’t make it very far. Why? Because it just all felt like too much work. I didn’t want to put in the effort it took to actually think of words. It’s not that I don’t want to write. I do.
It’s easy to blame it on laziness, which I will admit is true to some extent. After all, I admitted that it felt like too much work to put the effort into thinking of words. Sounds like laziness to me.
I could just as easily blame it on life. Life always gets in the way, doesn’t it? But that excuse doesn’t float. If I had a boss, I’d be fired. Heck, if I was any kind of boss, I’d have fired myself. But, it does get in the way. The expectations that hang on the person who works from home are always mounting up. The downside of not going to work. [Buy lots of books to help Tiffany rent an office space where she can go to work.]
It’s not like I’m doing nothing. Yesterday, I spent three hours scrubbing my kitchen. For a stay at home mom, cleaning makes up the majority of the job description. Even as I was typing this up, I took a break to go scrub out my washing machine. Why? Because it needed to be done.
That’s another thing I do lately. I wander off. I’ll have my laptop set up in front of me. I might even have Once Upon a Time in Iowa opened on the screen. Then, off I go. I’m walking around the kitchen looking for things that need to be done. I’m stepping out on to the porch to sip my coffee and watch my daughter play on the playground. Sometimes, I just wander through the house aimlessly.
I’d blame twitter, but I haven’t spent much time there lately. I stop by for an hour or two when I’ve first woken up and then do little more than respond to notifications the rest of the day. You may have even noticed I’ve been doing far more retweeting than I have been sharing my own thoughts. It’s that thinking and wording thing again. Too much work.
It’s a rainy day today. There’s even talk of thunderstorms. I love thunderstorms. I find them so energizing. I’ve heard some grumbles in the distance. Nothing loud enough or close enough to call rumbling, but maybe it’s headed my way.
About halfway through the construction of this post, I switched from the app to my laptop for convenience and ease of writing. Now, my laptop is already open, and there’s a storm coming in. Seems to me that I’m already well on my way to a setting perfect for writing.
Today does happen to be National Writing Day. No better day to tell myself to suck it up, get out of my own damned way, and write something.