An Eggspressive and Punny Story

This is from the collection of unedited writings written by a young me. For the start of the Easter season, I’ve selected an eggscellent story.

I wrote Eggspelled in the third grade. I’ve included the original computer art illustrations.

Warning: be ready for some eye-roll worthy puns.


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My teacher, Mr. Eggbert left the class in the computerroom to do an eggscellent report on eggsploration of outerspace. Instead I tried to pick a fight with Albert Eggstreme. Mr. Eggbert came in and saw me. Albert Eggsagerated what happened. I got eggspelled from New Yolk School of Learning. I felt like my shell split in to. My teacher said I cracked someones shell. I also got kicked right out the schools front door! The teacher yelled after me “Don’t come back you egghead”

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GREAT! EGGSPELLED was the only word in my head. I decided not to go home. If I did I’d have to talk to my mom. I kept wondering if my mom would ground me or if not what she would do. My yolk started to break as I thought about what I should do. Maybe I really was an egghead. Should I really tell my mom? I decided not to. Instead I’ll pretend to go to school. After my mom leaves I’ll go back into the house to get some money, and then I’ll go out on a shopping spree with my mom’s or dad’s money.

If my parents left their credit cards I could just use them. But if my parents found out I’d just me in deeper. It was getting dark so I decided to head home. I was getting hungry and hoped my mom would have dinner ready.

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When I got home I found out that the school had called my mother and I was GROUNDEGG. My mom wouldn’t talk to me, but she just kept a satisfied smile on her face. My plans were ruinned. I went up to my room after dinner and cleaned my room, and went to bed. The next morning was a Saterday and I got lots of phone calls, but my mom wouldn’t let me talk to them.

 

Story by Tiffany Messer
©1989


I was eggsploring my punny side, and I think I came up with an interesting story. My teacher wrote “100” and “cute” at the bottom.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this short story. You can read even more of my elementary works; The Early Writings of a Young Author.

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